Saturday, December 31

Invading CanadaTHE INVASION OF CANADA
In the 1930's the US War Department actually had a blueprint for the invasion of Canada. It was a part of a bigger plan to be implemented in case we ever had to go to war against Great Britain. (Didn't we already fight that war once or twice before? Isn't that how the White House ended up white?)

Tangentially, this new revelation published in the Washington Post reminds me of when 20 years ago I was the pastor of Selah Covenant Church in Selah, Washington -- just outside Yakima -- and near what was then called the Yakima Firing Center -- a military complex where armies from around the world converged for joint training in desert maneuvers. One morning I stepped outside from the office for a breath of fresh air and saw that there were armed soldiers with lots of military equipment on every corner in town. Then I noticed that they weren't American soldiers. The Canadian army had taken over Selah!

I stepped across First Street to the 7-11 and found a uniformed Canadian buying a Slurpee. "What's going on?" I casually asked.

The sergeant in his thick foreign accent explained, "Well, eh, we've never actually taken over a town so we decided we needed some practice."

We chatted for a few minutes and I found out that he, a stereotypically nice Canadian, was from Vancouver. Then I bought a Big Gulp and ambled back to the office to work on my sermon.

By noon the occupying forces were so bored that they decided to pack up their equipment and to head back to the Firing Center where they could go jeeping on the hillsides.

The invasion not only gave us something to talk about in our small town, but it was also good for the economy. I'm pretty sure that each and every soldier bought at least one Slurpee during the two-hour occupation of Selah.

If we were ever to retaliate for their encroachment on our sovereignty I would hope that we would do at least as much for them. They do have 7-11's in Canada, don't yah know.

2 comments:

Michael said...

I am actually a scout on a secrete mission to help the Canadian Army invade California. But now that the plans have been revealed by Brad...

I wonder if the Department of Homeland Security will pick up this email post?

Just so you all know - it was going to be a "nice" invasion eh.

Brad Boydston said...

I didn't notice any chaplains out there drinking slurpees. Where were you?

BTW, Michael, you can probably expect to have an NSA tap on your phone now -- and make sure you don't say anything important via email. We may have to communicate via this secure medium from now on.

(For those who don't know -- My good friend Michael is the pastor of the Lutheran church down the street from us. He was a chaplain in the Canadian army reserve before he brought his family to the US)