IF YOU NEED ME TO...
It's a pretty dumb idea -- that is, trying to recall a governor that was just re-elected 8 months ago. Now, I'd never vote for the guy but it seems to me that he is not significantly different in competence or character than he was when he was re-elected. This recall nonsense just sounds like it's a large financial flushing sound.

However, if everyone persists in this ridiculous pursuit I am willing to let my name stand on the ballot for governor of the State of California. My 17-year-old son asked me this evening to consider it, so I assume that there is significant backing. Here are my qualifications:

1. Having never run for public office, I am truly a political outsider. (To say nothing of the fact that I live in Turlock).

2. I am an independent (equally annoyed with the Republican and the Democratic parties).

3. I've worked on 20 church budgets.

4. I know what it's like to have a lot of bosses.

5. I was recently elected president of the Covenant Ministerium. (Talk about political clout!)

6. I've been cleared by the California Department of Justice. (In our church we do a background check on EVERYONE who works with children).

7. I was educated in California before Prop. 13.

8. I'd be willing to telecommute from home so we won't have to run the A/C in that big Sacramento building.

9. I'd be willing to volunteer for the position -- as long as I don't have to work more than two nights a week or half a day on my day off from the church (gotta have sometime to cut the lawn).

10. I've never had political aspirations. (Which clearly separates me from all the other potential candidates)

I understand that whichever candidate gets the most votes wins -- no simple majority required. This should be a snap.